Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Paramore, Twilight, and Endearing Sarcasm

Birdie began reading Twilight this weekend.  *collective gasp*  Yeah, I know-- what was I thinking?!

*image courtesy of the coolest-vampire-art-gallery.com

Glad you asked.

What I was thinking was, my eight year-old daughter is going to get half-way through the second chapter of this Twilight book and realize it is a sappy, teenage romance novel.  (Which I totally dug, by the way.  Like, super nutso, I-have-to-get-my-hands-on-the-next-book-as-soon-as-I-finish-this-one dug it.  Not exactly a Twi-mom, but close.  Too close.)  Upon that realization, I was sure-- completely sure, as a matter of fact-- the book would be once again safely tucked away in the box from whence it came.

Weeellllll... yeah, no such luck, folks.  Birdie is completely hooked.  Hooked and racing around the elementary school, making recommendations to every grown-up and older student that she can find.  And as for her own classmates, instead of recommending it to them, she is telling them that "parental guidance is suggested for the content of this novel, which means you should ask your mom if you can read it first."  Go ahead and roll your eyes.  I did.  It seems I have created another raging Twi-hard.

How did Birdie even become interested in Twilight, you ask?  It all started with her love of a song.  A song called "Monster" by the band Paramore, to be exact.  Birdie heard this song on a cartoon video she saw, looked up the lyrics, and memorized the whole thing!  I mentioned to her that I had a couple more Paramore songs on the Twilight soundtrack if she wanted to hear them, too.  (Yes-- I have the freakin' Twilight soundtrack!  Zip it!  Muse and Mute Math rock.)  She liked those songs as well.   Then,  her crazy little brain came to the conclusion that "if such awesome songs are on the movie soundtrack, the book is probably awesome, too!  Paramore would never write songs for a crappy story, I just know it."

So now I'm stuck with my eight year-old reading a vampire romance novel series.

I asked Birdie to describe what she liked about the story so far.  She told me, "It's full of romance, which I don't really care for.  Sissy would really love that part.  What I do like is that Bella is funny, and she and the vampires are completely sarcastic.  It's soooo... endearing!  Finally-- someone that can teach me a thing or two about sarcasm!"  She's right, they are pretty sarcastic, with some dark humor thrown in.  I appreciated that about them, too.  I began to think this didn't seem too bad, after all.

I asked Princess if she was going to read it, too, since it's romantic.  Her response?  "I'll just wait for the graphic novel, Mom.  The chapters in the original are waaaaay too long!  And, I'll be able to see the kissing in a graphic novel."  That last part was followed by her very machine-gun-like giggling.  Oh dear!  (I bet if I looked, I could probably find a graphic novel Twilight, couldn't I?!)

The kissing comment Princess made got me thinking about book four of the Twilight series.  *gasp*  

"Uh, Birdie?  Just so you know... I don't think you should read book four of the Twilight saga.  It's a bit... how do you put it?... ummmm, inappropriate for you right now."  The last thing I wanted her to do was read the first three books and expect to finish the series with book four, sex scene and all!  I know it's not 50 Shades of sexy or anything so graphic, but really?!  She's eight, for crying out loud!  Maybe I should have thought a bit harder before saying yes.  UGH.

"Inappropriate how, Mom?  What's the big deal?  Is it scary or something?!"

Scary is a good word for it.  I was feeling a bit unsure of where to go with this.  "Umm, it's got grown-up relationship stuff in it."

"You mean like marriage, Mom?  That's no big deal.  It's not my favorite topic, but it's not going to kill me."

"Not marriage stuff, Birdie.  Baby-making stuff.  Romantic baby-making stuff, not just the technical, biological details.  You'll think it's gross."

*sigh*  "Gahhhh, Mom!  The book is several hundred pages long.  How long can they really discuss baby-making in one book?!  Just mark the gross pages for me to skip, and I'll read them in a few years when I'm ten and more mature.  Seriously-- your problem solving skills are dying."

You know-- that could work.  Foiled again, I suppose.  Let's just hope that Birdie's interest in Twilight dies before I have to mark the "gross pages" for her.


  1. Three words: Twilight Honest Trailer.

    Four more words: New Moon Honest Trailer

    More words: Eclipse Honest Trailer

    And yes, there are graphic novels for Twilight. The only reason I know this is because i'm a comic book nerd and pay attention to the delivery of comics and graphic novels.

    1. Princess will be thrilled to hear there is a graphic novel. I think. As for the trailers-- LMAO! The whole premise of sparkly vampires kind of saddened the part of me that loves Dracula and the such, but I liked the brain-fluffy books nonetheless.

  2. I had to go through this teaching fourth grade.

    1. Any advice from the land of experience, Rachel? I'm all ears! :)

  3. She has all of us stumped...as usual!!

  4. Hehehe - I bet she might actually be kinda bored by it, being that she's just 8 and waaaay smarter than most 8 year olds... I hope, for your sake...

    1. I hope so, but she is sooo loving the sarcastic wit of the book, that I'm not sure she cares at all about the plot of the story. We shall see!

  5. "Seriously-- your problem solving skills are dying."...she cracks me up. If it makes you feel any better...my problem solving skills are DEAD! Ha!

    Better start dog-earring those pages my friend. ;P

  6. I love the Parental Guidance is suggested. That is really funny. I love this age. We now have a 7 year. They are so fun now that they think they are mature enough to have a little bit of expertise.

  7. New visitor from MeloMomma.

    I love this, and your experience of dealing with a Twi-hard. I have never read these books, but have read the "50 Shades," I can honestly say that those were trashy, and a spin from Twilight. It amazes me how people can get so wrapped up in poorly written romance, but I guess this is an era where quantity is perceived to be better than quality. Now days you just don't see young girls getting all excited and giddy about Pride & Prejudice and Jane Eyre the way they should.


  8. New visitor from a weekend blog hop

    Lisa from www.ifeelsounnecessary.com

  9. One smart girl you have there!! I tried reading these books and only made it half way through the first one. All the hype just kind of ruined it for me.

    Thanks for sharing with my NO RULES Weekend Blog Party!